All These Wellness Trends, and It’s Still Hard to Take Care of Ourselves — Why?

We live in a time where self-care is everywhere.

Journaling prompts, cold plunges, nervous system resets, adaptogens, sound baths… It’s all at our fingertips these days.

And yet, so many of us still struggle to take care of ourselves in a real, consistent way that makes us feel good and whole.

Because even when we want to do better for ourselves, our brains often default to old patterns — the ones shaped by years of stress, survival, and distraction.

So what’s really going on? And why does self-care feel like such an uphill battle sometimes?

Let’s break it down through the lens of neuroscience.

Why Self-Care Feels Hard: Your Brain Loves the Familiar

At the core of all habits — good or bad — is neuroplasticity, your brain’s ability to change and adapt over time. Modern science shows that our brains are capable of rewiring well into our 60s and even 70s.

This is a huge shift from what we used to believe. For decades, scientists thought the brain “set” after childhood. But we now know it can form new neural connections throughout much of our adult life — especially when we engage in activities that support learning, novelty, and emotional presence. But it also means the version of you who copes through overworking, scrolling, numbing, or avoiding... gets reinforced through repetition.

The classic metaphor: Imagine your inside your brain is like a snow-covered hill. Every thought, reaction, and behaviour is like a sled carving a path down the slope. The more you repeat a thought or behaviour, the deeper that path becomes, and the more likely your brain is to take that same route next time.

If your current “sled path” is skipping meals, people-pleasing, doom-scrolling at midnight, or pushing through without rest — your brain will keep sliding into those patterns because they’re easy, predictable, and familiar. Even if they don’t serve you.

So when you try something new, like setting a boundary, drinking tea instead of wine, or sitting with your feelings — it can feel awkward, slow, even uncomfortable. Your brain hasn’t carved that path yet. Not deeply enough for it to feel natural.

The reality is, many of our thoughts, behaviours, and even personality traits are shaped by these neural pathways. Over time, they become part of how we define ourselves.

Your awareness of these patterns is what gives you choice.

Without awareness, we’re just replaying old scripts. With awareness, we can begin to consciously choose a new direction.

The Problem Isn’t Laziness — It’s Wiring

Let’s be clear: this isn’t about willpower or discipline.

It’s about how your neural circuits have been trained to operate.

And, you the coach, are responsible.

It get's tough when you add few extra ingredients, like:

• Chronic stress shrinking your prefrontal cortex — the part responsible for decision-making and future planning

• Trauma keeping your nervous system in survival mode, making long-term thinking hard

• Overchoice, especially in today's wellness world, with so many tools you don’t know where to start

• And a culture of doing more instead of choosing better

It’s no wonder we default to old patterns.

The brain is built to choose the familiar path because it takes less energy. And the constant stress of daily life drains us of the energy we need to change.

Even if we know what’s good for us, the wiring doesn’t change until we repeat the new path — over and over again.

How to Make New Paths Easier (and More Sustainable)

Every time you repeat a behaviour, your neurons fire together, forming stronger synaptic connections, reinforcing the connections in our brain that support it.

It’s important to tell your brain, “this is something we do", so you can fire connections you really want to last.

What are you training your brain to choose?

Remember change is possible — that’s the power of neuroplasticity.

There are certain conditions that can make rewiring your brain easier:

1. You need to be in a state of openness — mentally and emotionally. Not in survival mode.

2. You need a practice that feels manageable, not overwhelming.

3. You need some kind of reward or reinforcement, even if it's subtle.

   
   

This is where simple, repeatable rituals come in. Small actions done regularly are more effective than big changes done once.

Think of these as the first gentle sleds carving out a new path. At first, it might feel like effort. But the more often you walk that path, the easier it gets. Until one day, your brain naturally chooses it.

New paths require conscious effort, repetition, and — most importantly — self-awareness.

We can’t change what we don’t notice. And the point of these wellness tools like journaling, breathwork, mindfulness, is to help bring subconscious patterns into the light.

Because if you’re not walking a path of awareness, you can still avoid self-rewiring — even while doing self-care activities. Even small steps like talking to someone you trust can help. When you start to see why you avoid self-care, it becomes easier to make choices that align with what you actually need.

How Microdosing Can Help

This understanding of how neural pathways form is also where microdosing can play a powerful supporting role in making change feel more accessible.

From a neuroscience perspective, compounds like psilocybin (in very low, non-hallucinating doses) are showing to increase neuroplasticity. That means your brain becomes more malleable — more open to forming new connections and letting go of old ones.

Studies have shown that psilocybin can increase communication between brain regions that don’t usually "talk." It may temporarily quiet the default mode network — the part of the brain associated with your ego and repetitive thought loops — and allow for more fluid, creative, and present thinking.

In other words, microdosing might not make you change, but it can make change feel more accessible.

Some call this a natural biohack. We see it as a gentle tool that supports what your brain is already capable of: change, growth, and deeper self-connection.

When paired with intention, rest, and supportive rituals like tea or movement, microdosing can reduce the internal resistance that so many of us feel when trying to care for ourselves in a new way.

From Our Experience

Over the years at Happy Tea, we've seen people use these tools to shift out of chronic stress and into softness.

We’ve seen anxious spirals give way to grounded focus.

Burnout patterns replaced with rituals that support clarity and creativity.

Social fear eased by a more open nervous system and a new kind of confidence.

The shift doesn’t happen in one day. It happens in the daily repetition of new choices — supported by your environment, your biology, and sometimes, a few plants that were put on this planet for a reason.

Start With A Gentle Invitation

Your brain is not fixed.

You’re not stuck.

You’re just walking the same path you’ve always walked — and that’s okay.

But if something inside you is ready for change, it doesn’t have to be drastic. It just has to be intentional.

One new thought. One small ritual. One supportive practice. Repeat.

If you’re curious about microdosing, Happy Tea is a great place to start. Our blends are designed to work in harmony with your nervous system, your rituals, and your desire for something softer, clearer, and more connected.

Let this be your gentle nudge.

New paths are possible — and we’re here when you're ready.